I write because I think it will mean something. Because in the future I hope that people will read it and accept me into their lives, into their circles. I'm interested in nothing but radical honesty and the truth. Alongside that I am interested in why we feel the way that we do about certain things, yet why we push out others altogether. Alongside that I am interested in myself, and why I am prone to do those same things. I want to explore this. I want to figure out the why. This is why I write.
I write because it has a purpose. Because I want people to find enjoyment in my writing. I have read a lot, and to this day some of the most lifechanging thoughts have not come from myself, they have come from the desk of others. They have come from people like myself who have taken a stance that they will talk about something that is deeply meaningful to them, and in that moment I see that topic in a new light. That new light effects me, and I hope it effects everyone as they read. Because that is why I read. I read for a purpose. I read because I can, and enjoy, seeing life in a new way.
The more we open ourselves up to life, the more we are given to the awe within it. And I am addicted to awe. As I am writing this though, I have no idea what the next sentence will be. Nor do I know how to wrap things up, nor do I know how long this will go on for. The only thing I know is why I am writing, and the meaning behind it. And I am firm believer that if you know that, the rest will fall into place.
It is challenging though. I think I underestimate that a lot of the time. Especially when I have something that I really want to say. I have this dream in my head that if only I went to the Oregon coast for a week, and spent some time in a cabin, then the work that I really want would just fall out of me. If only I moved to Maine and lived in the same town as Steven King then the words I want to write would just write themselves. I have this wish that the place that I am in matters much more than the writing that I am doing. This is probably because I know deep down that writing is hard, and I fantasize about it being easier. But, perhaps there is some truth to that location paralysis. I wrote much more on a park bench in DC, on my phone, than I ever have at my home in California. I have to keep that in mind when I can't write. Because "I can't" is simply a proxy for "I don't know why I'm writing". There is no can or can't, there is only the why and doing it. This reminder is mostly for myself.
Thank you for reading. You will always be appreciated.